Body Positivity Isn’t About Dressing to Look Thinner

I think somewhere along the way, we got body positivity a little twisted.

Body positivity isn’t telling your curvy friend which silhouettes are the most “flattering.” It isn’t teaching someone how to hide their stomach, minimize their hips, disguise their arms, or create the illusion of a smaller waist.

It’s questioning why we were taught those things needed to be hidden in the first place.

For generations, beauty standards have been handed down to us like some weird family heirloom nobody actually asked for. Apparently, there have always been rules about what bodies are allowed to wear what clothes — and, conveniently, those rules seem to change every few decades.

Low-rise jeans are in. Low-rise jeans are out. Curves are in. Curves are out. Big boobs are in. Tiny boobs are in. Big butts are in. Now everyone needs to be skinny again.

Can we all agree this is exhausting?

“Flattering” Isn’t a Dirty Word

I want to make something clear: there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to wear clothing that flatters your body.

Sometimes I want something that hugs my waist perfectly, makes my boobs look amazing, and gives me the silhouette of a Victorian vampire countess who definitely has several wealthy husbands mysteriously buried in the backyard.

That can be empowering too.

The problem starts when “flattering” becomes a polite way of saying “this makes your body look closer to what society thinks it should look like.”

If someone has an apron belly, how many times have they been told to wear A-line dresses because they “skim over the stomach”?

And maybe they love A-line dresses. Fantastic. Wear every A-line dress you can get your hands on.

But what if they want to wear a bodycon dress?

Wear. The. Damn. Bodycon. Dress.

Your stomach existing underneath your clothing does not mean the outfit failed.

Your Body Is Not a Fashion Problem to Solve

This is something I feel strongly about as a designer: your body is not a problem that clothing needs to correct.

You don’t need to create the illusion of being taller.

You don’t need to minimize your hips.

You don’t need to hide your belly.

You don’t need to make your arms look smaller.

And you definitely don’t need to spend your entire life trying to dress yourself into an acceptable hourglass.

Clothing can change the way our bodies visually appear, and there’s nothing wrong with enjoying that. Fashion is creative. It’s transformative. Sometimes changing our silhouette is part of the fun.

But there’s a huge difference between “I like how I look in this” and “I’m not allowed to wear anything else because people might see my body.”

That second one isn’t personal style.

That’s a rule someone taught you.

And you’re allowed to break it.

Wear the Clothes You Were Told You “Couldn’t”

I want people to experiment with fashion without constantly asking themselves whether their bodies are “right” for something.

Want the crop top? Wear it. Want the miniskirt? Wear it.

Want the oversized shapeless dress that gives you absolutely no waist whatsoever? Become the mysterious fabric-draped cryptid of your dreams.

Want the bodycon dress even though your stomach isn’t flat? Your stomach can come too. It was invited.

Fashion should be a way to discover yourself, not a complicated system for hiding yourself.

And sometimes that means wearing something that isn’t traditionally considered “flattering.”

Good.

Maybe flattering was never supposed to be the goal.

Maybe joy is. Maybe confidence is. Maybe self-expression is.

Maybe getting dressed should occasionally be about looking in the mirror and thinking, This is so ridiculously me.

Body Positivity Means Giving Yourself Permission

To me, body positivity isn’t about believing that you have to love every single inch of yourself every second of every day.

That’s a lot of pressure too.

It’s about refusing to put your life — or your personal style — on hold until your body looks different.

You don’t have to earn the right to wear beautiful clothing.

You don’t have to lose twenty pounds first.

You don’t have to wait until your stomach is flatter, your arms are smaller, or you finally feel “confident enough.”

Sometimes the clothes come before the confidence.

Sometimes you put on the thing you were convinced you couldn’t wear, walk out the door slightly terrified, and eventually realize something incredible:

Nothing happened.

The Fashion Police did not rappel from the ceiling.

No one revoked your crop-top license.

The earth continued rotating.

And maybe, little by little, you started seeing your body differently.

Fashion Should Make Your World Bigger

That’s what I ultimately want clothing to do.

I don’t want fashion to give people another list of things they’re not allowed to wear.

I want it to give them possibilities.

Wear the A-line dress because you feel incredible in it — not because someone told you that your belly needs to disappear.

Wear the bodycon dress because you love it.

Wear the crop top. Wear the oversized sweater. Wear the corset. Wear the tiny skirt.

Wear the enormous skirt that takes up three seats and makes you look like you’re haunting a Victorian mansion.

Just stop asking whether your body has permission.

Because body positivity isn’t about learning how to dress your body so other people find it more acceptable.

It’s about realizing that your body never needed their approval in the first place.

Remember this.

Best regards,

AnneMarie Dralus